The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman explores the different ways people express and receive love, identifying five primary “languages”: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Chapman argues that understanding and speaking your partner’s love language strengthens relationships by ensuring both individuals feel valued and appreciated. He provides practical advice for identifying one’s own love language and adapting to a partner’s needs to foster deeper emotional connections. The book has been widely influential in improving communication and intimacy in romantic relationships, but what if these Love Languages could apply and be shared in customer relationships?
Five ways to show your customers love all year, not just in the month of Valentine’s.
Quality Time
Quality time is a great way to show love to a partner, but also how to show love to your customers. Quality time for a customer includes:
- Being present: This means joining customer calls on time, being ready for the call, and actively participating
- Focus: Not only do you need to be present, but quality time also requires being focused and paying attention. It also means resisting the urge to multitask during the calls and instead giving your customer your full attention.
- Actively listening: Active listening is a hallmark of quality time. With active listening, you are present and focused. You hear what the customer needs to say as well as what they are trying to say, and you are encouraging honest and healthy communication.
Giving your customers quality time is important as it shows them that they are valuable.
Acts of Service
In a relationship, acts of service can include cleaning the house and washing the dishes. In customer experience, the acts are different, but the heart is the same.
Provide help resolving customer complaints and problems. Don’t pass the buck when a problem comes in, but do your best to provide the customer with consulting to guide them to a resolution that satisfies everyone. Additional acts of service include:
- Ensuring transfers to appropriate departments
- Outline and review the customer’s next steps and action plans
- Being a trusted advisor for related topics or topics of expertise
- Providing timely answers to customer questions with a positive attitude
- Explaining helpful context to facilitate better understanding
Gifts (no, not the impermissible kind)
While many customers have policies against gift-giving, this doesn’t restrict you and your team from being creative. Some permissible and potential customer gifts include:
- A free monthly trial
- Advanced access to new features
- Providing a discount for future services
- Access to a sustainable rewards program
- Free or reduced product training
- Discounts on paid services and solutions
In addition to these ideas, there are several unconventional gift ideas that customers typically appreciate. For example, while it is not necessarily a gift, many times, a customer will appreciate a refund for a solution, product, or service that fell short of expectations and needs. Other noteworthy ideas include upgrades for the support tier or access to demos and additional content. Whatever gift you decide on, even if it is a notebook and pen set, make sure the gift is authentic and genuine and fits company policies.
Touch
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman includes the love language of physical touch. In the book, this is often communicated with simple gestures such as hugs, hand-holding, and the more personal touch between partners and spouses. But there are laws and restrictions, not to mention miles and continents between you and your customer. So how do you show love with physical touch? Depending on your company policies and your budget, this can be as simple as booking a flight and dropping in on your customer. (Be sure to bring some of those permissible gifts as well) For those who cannot drop in on their customers, due to cost, budget, time, volume, or other restrictions, here are some meaningful suggestions for touch:
- Industry conferences, networking events, or customer-sponsored events
Attend an event sponsored by mutual partners, your actual customer, or an industry expert where attendance would be likely. - Check-in phone calls
Don’t underestimate the power of a simple “how are you” via a phone call. A free-flowing conversation can reveal much that never makes it into a formal email. - Video calls
Add a personal touch to the check-in phone call by using a video call, such as Zoom or Teams. - Virtual meetups (outside of work)
Virtual meetups can be another great way to connect and touch base with customers to show them love. This can be something work or non-work-related. Steve (not his real name) knows that a large group of his customers enjoy virtual gaming. Each month he meets with other gamers from his customer circle and beyond to enjoy gaming, bragging, and the occasional trash-talking. - Sponsored sporting events
A growing security vendor sponsors a local minor league team. A large medical records company sponsors a local college team. In both cases, they host a “company night” where their customers can receive free or reduced admission and enjoy the game.
Your company may not allow you to travel to each customer site, but with thought and planning, your team may be able to speak their love language.
Words of Affirmation (Appreciation)
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~ Mark Twain
Author Gary Chapman suggests that one way to express love is to use words that build up, words of appreciation and affirmation. “Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation,” explains Chapman, “are powerful.” If Twain can live on a sincere compliment for two months, and appreciation is powerful, then giving compliments and genuine appreciation to your team and customers should be a bedrock and hallmark of your Customer Experience. Of course, you’re thinking, “But some of our customers are rude,” “some are impatient,” or “I don’t know where to start”. Well, the Cambridge dictionary defines appreciation as “the act of recognizing someone’s worth as a person or showing that you are grateful for something that person has done.” Remember, a difficult customer often highlights a shortcoming in your products or services or provides candid feedback, which can all be objects of your gratitude.
Some things that you can do to uplift, affirm, or appreciate someone include:
- Recognizing their skills or abilities
- Complimenting their patience and calmness
- Highlighting their passion or sense of urgency
- Appreciating their dedication to the company
- Thanking the customer for being a customer
- Appreciate their assistance in resolving an issue (this can work for both customers and team members)
- Complimenting facets of excellence (verbal, written, technical, social, etc.)
- Thank them for paying on time or renewing
A few final words. First, showing love and appreciation to your customers and your team shouldn’t be reserved for only February. If we want to keep a happy and healthy team, as well as happy and healthy customers, we must learn and look for ways to keep their love tanks full all year long. Lastly, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, service, and touch are all great ways to show love to our customers and one another. But keep in mind that knowing the way, whether it is based on The Five Love Languages or others from various authors, wisdom literature, or faith texts, is only the first step. Choosing to apply the way is the next step, and it is this step that will be the most challenging and the most rewarding.