One of my clients, an investment banking firm, forwarded an article to me with a note, “check this out.” The article featured KKR & Co., a private equity firm who is piloting programs to increase empathy in their senior leadership. Now why is a business focused on numbers, turning around businesses and growing businesses focused on soft skills?
They observed a direct correlation between CEOs, who scored high in empathy with lower quit rates, higher employee engagement which in turn provided greater long-term value of the company.
As Pete Stavros, KKR’s Co-Head of Global Private Equity put it, “How can we say we’re optimizing a business if 40% of the workers are quitting each year.”
I wasn’t surprised by the data because I’ve taught emotional intelligence for over 15 years. What does surprise me is how few companies really embed empathy into their culture despite the return on investment.
There are a few reasons for this gap.
#1. Empathy is a muscle, not a memo. You can hold a workshop on empathy, however, like a tennis serve, it must be practiced daily and weekly.
- Not just when you’re meeting with a prospect.
- Not just when you’re conducting a one-on-one coaching session.
- Not just when there is money to be made.
You practice all the time. When you’re standing in a checkout line, tune into the clerk’s thoughts and feelings. “Hmmm wonder what time she started work this morning. Has anyone told him he’s doing a good job?”
Empathy is a paying attention skill.
Stop checking your phone. Look up and check up on the people around you.
#2. No accountability. When reading about KKR, I came across insights from Kathy Bolhous, CEO of Charter Next Generation, one of KKR’s portfolio companies. She shared that KKR was the first owner to ask about the company’s people metrics.
As sales leaders, we measure multiple sales metrics but how many of us have established and are measuring human metrics such as:
- Did I achieve my number of making someone feel important today?
- Did I hit my KPI of thanking people and sending thank you notes?
- How many hours of mentorship did I provide this month?
These are the metrics that matter. A study by Businessolver found that 76% of employees said they’re more likely to stay with a company that shows empathy. Take care of the humans and they will take care of other humans, your prospects and clients.
#3. The myth: you are born with empathy. True and not true. KKR noted that people with certain life experiences, often women, immigrants, those from a low-income backgrounds or religious faith had a head start in empathy. Their life experiences helped them emotionally connect with others.
That makes sense. An immigrant is going to relate to someone who is brand new in sales, drowning in product knowledge and sales knowledge. They understand because they’ve probably felt like they were drowning when trying to learn a new language or cultural norms.
A person coming from a low-income can relate to someone who is anxious about today’s uncertainty. Their day-to-day living was often uncertain. Is there going to be enough food? Clothing? Housing?
The good news is that even if you do not have these specific life experiences, you can learn empathy. It begins by shifting your focus outward. It’s training yourself to consistently ask the question posed by author Charles Eisenstein:
“What’s it like to be you?”
When you consistently ask this question, it changes how you think. Empathy is defined as knowing and caring about what others are thinking or feeling. This question helps you become less self-focused and more other focused.
Congratulations to KKR for discovering the power of empathy. It isn’t just a nice-to-have skill, it’s a business multiplier.
You can drive revenue by giving your team a bonus, one that doesn’t cost a thing. Pay attention, be present, and ask, “What’s it like to be you?”
Good Selling and Leading!