The Problem with NPS (Or Do I Look Fat in This?)

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I am 45.

They say that when middle-age is upon us our broad minds and narrow waists swap sizes.

It is happening to me, (certainly around my waist, and as I no longer enjoy finding strangers in my kitchen first thing in the morning, probably my mind as well).

I need to lose some weight and I have been taken in more than once.

I have been seduced by all the diets:

  • The Caveman Diet: fast 2 days a week (Neanderthal never man had it that good)
  • The Atkins Diet: no carbohydrates plenty of bacon (no energy and bad skin)
  • The Alkaline Diet: lots of fruit and veg, no sweet fizzy drinks (go figure)
  • The Cabbage Diet: eat cabbage soup for a week (you’ll smell dreadful)

Unfortunately, there is only one solution to the “muffin top” and that is to lay off the chips and drag your sorry arse into the gym. You know that, I know that, we all know that. We just don’t happen to like it much.

Which is why I am always bang-up for trying the latest diet fad, in the vain hope that it will somehow, miraculously resolve my middle-aged spread.

The same fascination with fads is found in business

We love a quick fix, regardless of the situation. Take our customers for example. We all know we should wow them with excellent service and in our efforts to find out how, we have all been seduced by:

  • Voice of the Customer – listening to what they say
  • Customer Satisfaction – understanding if they are satisfied
  • Customer Effort – finding out how difficult we make it
  • Net Promoter Score – worrying if they will they recommend us

Unfortunately, there is only one way to prevent unhappy customers and that is to stop doing the stupid things that upset them.

You know what they are, they know what they are, even I could hazard an educated guess, and I don’t even work with you.

The next measurement fad won’t change that

All it will do is tell us about exactly the same things all over again and, let’s be honest, we won’t be totally surprised.

We just won’t like the answers much.

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