Every year I visit the charity shop and off load all the misguided Christmas presents I’ve been given.
I don’t wish to seem ungrateful, but the socks my Aunt sent me with individually knitted toes are at best uncomfortable and at worst a crime against style (possibly even humanity). They have to go. And as some misguided fool will hand over good money for them, my Christmas charity shop visit is a win win for all concerned.
This year however I got a present that was so bad I couldn’t bring myself to give it away.
The gift I could do without
Yesterday I took my family to the sales, after hours being buffeted by the crowds we retired to Pizza Express (an upmarket pizza chain). As I paid for lunch for four the manager gave me a “Christmas Gift” in a very smart Christmas Card.
A free Classic Pizza on my next visit.
Now I visit Pizza Express a lot. I am all for a free pizza, but then I read the small print:
- Valid when you buy a full priced main course
- Piccolo (Children’s) menu is not a main course
- Offer only available Monday to Thursday
- Offer only available 7th to 31st January
- Only one “gift” can be used per transaction
- “Gift” cannot be used in conjunction with any other promotion
And the best bit: Extra toppings are chargeable.
All of which left me wondering exactly how much would a no strings attached pizza cost?
Who was this a gift for, me or them?
Shouldn’t joy be in the giving?
Maybe I am a little old-fashioned, but if you give out free gifts shouldn’t you be authentic about it? Make the free gift a free gift?
Maybe companies should apply my “Charity Shop Test” before they come over all generous.
Or better still take a leaf out of Chris Zane’s book.
As Christmas gifts go this one was a little less welcome than the latest version of Grand Theft Auto that I bought my wife to play on my X-Box.
At least she wasn’t remotely embarrassed to hand that over to the charity shop.
Cellophane wrapper intact.
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Image by SidewaysSarah
