Here are a handful of phrases that we often hear from software vendors in demo meetings, followed by what the customer thinks in response…
Vendor Says: “Let me tell you a bit about our company…”
Customer Thinks: Nope, no need to – we wouldn’t have agreed to invest our time in a demo if we didn’t already know about you…
Vendor Says: “Let me give you a product overview…”
Customer Thinks: Is this for our sake or yours? Which of these products are relevant to us and our specific situation?
Vendor Says: “And we’ve just re-named our products, as follows…”
Customer Thinks: Oh joy, more useless things to remember…
Vendor Says: “And we’ve created some product bundles as well – let me share these with you…”
Customer Thinks: Why? Am I doing proof-reading for your marketing department?
Vendor Says: “Let’s go through a day-in-the-life…”
Customer Thinks: Oh god, no. My day is painful enough already, why would you want to walk me through it again?
Vendor Says: “So we’ve created 7 fictional characters: Mark the manager, Angie in accounting, Isaac in IT, Candace the CFO, Oscar in operations, Eustace the end-user…”
Customer Thinks: Wait – you want me to remember each of these names? I don’t even know all of the folks in my department…!
Vendor Says: “One of the questions I get a lot is…”
Customer Thinks: Sure, but did WE ask it?
Vendor Says: “The other question is…”
Customer Thinks: Ditto..
Vendor Says: “And this is really important…”
Customer Thinks: Thanks – good to know what YOU think is important, as opposed to us…
Vendor Says: “Another really important thing is…”
Customer Thinks: Sounds like everything in your software is important – which means that none of it is…
Vendor Says: “The other nice thing…”
Customer Thinks: How many nice things are there?
Vendor Says: “Oh, and this is really cool…”
Customer Thinks: In whose opinion?
Vendor Says: “Now, if you want to…”
Customer Thinks: But what if I don’t?
Vendor Says: “Or, you can also do this by…”
Customer Thinks: Please just show me the fastest way to get it done…
Vendor Says: “There are three ways you can do this – let me show you…”
Customer Thinks: Will these be on the test? Please just show me the one fastest way that I’d use in my day-to-day work.
Vendor Says: “Let me show you how to…”
Customer Thinks: Did I ask? Do I care? Am I interested?
Vendor Says: “What we call…”
Customer Thinks: Who cares what YOU call it… I’ll never remember those terms anyway.
Vendor Says: “We have the concept of…”-
Customer Thinks: Great – and how is this important for us?
Vendor Says: “Gee, I’ve never seen that happen before…”
Customer Thinks: We have… All the time!
Vendor Says: “Let me try that again…”
Customer Thinks: To prove that it REALLY doesn’t work you, the technical expert, don’t know it?
Vendor Says: “Remember when I said….”
Customer Thinks: Nope.
Vendor Says: “Let me show you what happens behind the scenes…”
Customer Thinks: Did I ask? Do I care? Am I interested? I like sausage, but I’m not really interested in seeing how it was made…!
Vendor Says: “Let me explain how this works…”
Customer Thinks: Did I ask? Do I care? Am I interested?
Vendor Says: “We’re running short on time, so I’ll have to go really fast, but I want this to be interactive, so stop me if you have any questions…”
Customer Thinks: Oh god no – the run-on demo…!
Vendor Says: “Oops – looks like we ran out of time before we got to the best stuff…”
Customer Thinks: Too bad – looks like we won’t ever see your best stuff…
Vendor Says: “I’ve saved the best for last…”
Customer Thinks: When our management team is gone and the rest of our brains are mush… Why didn’t you do the Last Thing First?
Any additional to add?
