Good morning kings and queens, lords and ladies, welcome back to Radio CBM 98.6, all J.J. Cale all the time, and happy Paraskavedekatriaphobia Day for all those of you with an inordinate fear of Friday the 13th. Hey come on, what can go wrong today that doesn’t usually go wrong? Isn’t the everyday stuff bad enough? What, we need a special day to get even more uptight? Who comes up with this stuff?
Kicking off the actual news part of our show, we find that Steve Cakebread, who worked as Salesforce’s president, chief strategy officer and CFO for six years and resigned for “personal reasons” last week, has signed on with Xactly as their new chief financial and administrative officer.
Salesforce officials rejected as “unfounded” rumors that Cakebread resigned to avoid having his steroid usage become public, saying he and New York Yankee Alex “A-Roid” Rodriguez saw each other “in purely social settings,” and “a few well-supervised fishing trips.”
Cakebread, a guy who has never heard any Marie Antoinette jokes, helped take Salesforce.com public in 2004 and watched the purse strings as it hit $749 million in sales. Is Xactly looking ahead to a possible IPO? Does your wife get the number of a divorce lawyer to redo her will?
And speaking of Salesforce.com, The Benioff Bunch has launched their spring offensive as
Salesforce CRM Spring ’09, with such market-friendly features as content assembly, tracking, delivery and something called “Opportunity Genius,” designed to help “sales organizations arm their reps with best practices and the right knowledge, by connecting different reps that have worked on similar deals,” according to industry observer Bob Thompson.
Not to be outdone, Sage North America has announced Sage PFW ERP 5.7, the latest version of its enterprise resource planning system designed for small and medium-sized multinational businesses such as, oh, Chrysler. There’s a pop-up feature altering you the instant your industry qualifies for a multibillion-dollar bailout, opening a chat window with “Honest John” Schwartz, the lawyer who FIGHTS for YOU to GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!
In sports a bunch of boats owned by millionaires and billionaires in South Africa, Switzerland, China, Larry Ellison, Italy and Sweden sailed around New Zealand to get ready to sail around Spain this spring to win a cup named for America. Yes, that was filed under “sports.”
On-demand CRM vendor NetSuite joins the ranks of McDonald’s, Wal-Mart and other recession-friendly companies, posting “record growth” with total revenue for the year reaching $152.5 million, a year-over-year increase of 40.5 percent.
CEO Zach Nelson said his company posted the first non-GAAP profitable quarter in the company’s history, “impressive with business spending on equipment and software falling 27.8 percent, the worst in a half century, when all my competitors will choke on their blood like the insignificant flies and cockroaches they are! Die, peasants! BWAHAHAHAHA!”
The Congressional Budget Office has released a study finding that the actual cost of the Democrats’ Porkulus Package, claimed to be $789 billion by the Democrats who wrote and are sponsoring it, is actually closer to $3.27 trillion. Democrat President O’Bama described the discrepancy as “a rounding error,” saying it’s still “not too big a price for our children to have to pay for even bigger, more costly government.”
At the Mobile World Conference Maximizer Software says it will continue to focus on mobile CRM, in partnership with Research In Motion, betting heavily on their MaxMobile for BlackBerry service. The product allows data such as leads, notes, online document repositories, calendar, sales opportunities, and service cases to be stored directly on the BlackBerry and synchronized with Maximizer CRM in the office.
Said one Maximizer officials, “We feel that people aren’t addicted enough to BlackBerries yet, and that they need even more reasons to use them.” Company officials said they’re working on an application for the BlackBerry to provide a support group for people who want help to break their BlackBerry addictions.
That’s the show for today, we’re off to cover the least believable news story of the year.
